Great for keeping your guns in great condition, not so great on the digestive system.
Great for keeping your guns in great condition, not so great on the digestive system.

Much like the dry packs included in vitamins bottles, Do Not Eat the Gun Safe Dehumidifier.

Unlike those tiny packages of which we are all familiar, the Gun Safe Dehumidifier does not have this warning written in bold letters across its front. But the same holds true for it as the tiny packages, given both have the same chemical compound inside – silica gel.

This granular and porous form of silicon dioxide is renown for its ability to control humidity. And one of the best parts, the natural forming mineral can be used over and over. Thus the Gun Safe Dehumidifier is a long-term solution to protecting your most precious firearms from rust and stock warpage.

On the other hand, this compound is not known for its digestibility, which is why the tiny dry pack manufacturers continually warn us not to eat their product, despite the fact they look nothing like vitamins.

Silica Gel, however, does share one thing in common with many foodstuffs – it can go into the oven. This is one of the neater aspects of the Gun Safe Dehumidifier, it gives a lifetime of service since the mineral can be dried out in any conventional oven, then put back into duty.

Silica Gel, not good in stir-fry.
Silica Gel, not good in stir-fry.

However, caution must be used when the Gun Safe Dehumidifier is in the kitchen and ready to go into the appliance. Despite the fact it lacks a “Do Not Eat” warning in big bold letters across its front, do not be tempted to use the dehumidifier in any recipes.

For instance, the Gun Safe Dehumidifier:

  • Cannot be used instead of paprika in a dry rub.
  • Should not be used as sugar substituted in peach cobbler.
  • Does not make a tasty, yet slimy dessert alternative.

In fact, the Gun Safe Dehumidifier is really only good for one thing, keeping your firearms moisture free.

The bores of your rifles will stay un-pitted because of this silica gel filled box. That century-old boxlock will function like brand new due to the dehumidifier’s miraculous attributes. And your cherished marble-cake stock will retain all its character and functionality due to this product’s moisture-hungry nature.

You yourself, however, will remain hungry if you bought the Gun Safe Dehumidifier to eat, because under no circumstance are you to eat it or even taste it. If you have the willpower to resist ingesting it, however, you can ponder what it might be like to take a nibble.

Strike that, we don’t want to be responsible for your moment of weakness. We can just hear the excuses now, “They said it was ok to think about it and one thing led to another.” Then our lawyers are in some East Texas courthouse trying to get us off the hook for your feebleness when it comes to eating things you shouldn’t. Next thing you know, you’ll be on that cable show where people eat weird things – like the foam out couch cushions – and we’ll be the ones blamed for your “food addiction.”

The silica-gel people are five-languages and one picture serious about you not eating their product.
The silica-gel people are five-languages and one picture serious about you not eating their product.

No thank you sir, we’re having none of that.

So here’s the situation, use the Gun Safe Dehumidifier to keep your guns in great condition. And don’t even think about eating or tasting it. We reiterate, you can’t even think about it.

And for that matter, don’t eat those tiny dry packs either. Though those are easier to remember to resist, because they remind you with a big “Do Not Eat” warning across the front, despite the fact they look nothing like vitamins.

 

 

 


Gun Safe Dehumidifier

Keep Your Firearms In Tip-Top Condition

A Gun Safe Dehumidifier is an essential accessory for any gun storage unit, fighting corrosion and wood distortion. Keep Your Guns Safe

2 COMMENTS

  1. This a good example of satire. I found it to be really funny. Anyone that would even need a warning to not eat them should never ever be allowed to even hold a weapon of any kind, including table forks or dinner knives. Much less a firearm.