Now I’ve Seen Everything

Now I’ve Seen Everything

*Special note: Sorry I've been gone the last couple weeks–moving from Texas to Wisconsin is not a quick and easy thing to do. I'm permanently ensconced here at the offices in Iola, now, and have the taxidermy hung and the dishes unpacked at the new digs in Waupaca. Time to get back to business!

So, I was scanning the headlines on while I grabbed a sandwich and came across a headline I just couldn't resist: “PETA plans porn website to promote message”. Curiosity got the better of me, and I clicked the link.

Thank goodness the article was blissfully short, but it seems the article's headline was indeed accurate and not just some witty editor's strange play on words. PETA–People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals–the vehemently anti-hunting, anti-pet, anti-anything that has to do with things other than vegetable matter, has registered to launch the website Yup, that's triple-X, as in must be 18 years old and have a valid Visa or Mastercard to enter triple-X.

Now, these kooks have done plenty of kooky things before, but the justification behind this marketing plan just floored me. It seems that, because they've used nudity and, um, porn stars in their ad campaigns before, then an entire website devoted to the unclothed human form (and I do not mean in a Rembrandt sort of way) must be a sure-fire guarantee to broaden the audience appeal and spread PETA's message to vegans worldwide. I'm no math genius, but here's what I know about adding things together:

1. 2+2 = 4
2. yellow + blue = green
3. one part water + two parts hydrogen = water
4. porn + vegan messaging = …???
Well, heck, I just don't know what that equals, but even minus my PhD in Marketing, I can tell you that it probably does not add up to a successful PETA promotion. On the bright side, it will undoubtedly equate to a gigantic waste of money on their end, which we hunters can only hope will hasten that organization's total demise and prompt the triumphant return of PETA standing for People Eating Tasty Animals. And on that note, hunt on!

The Author Recommends: When the venison's in the freezer and the stuffed goose you had for dinner is nothing but a plate of leftovers, it's time to undo that top button on your Chinos and do a little memory reliving by the fireplace. This year, do that with a read through Alex Brant's collection of stories, The World's 25 Best Shoots: A Sporting Odyssey.


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